I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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