forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize