Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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