omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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