Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so let's talk penis.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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