I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just pee around me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
