you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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