you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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