Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can't turn off my feet"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
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