U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
