The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
