You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
