how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize