I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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