Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
