The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
