Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
