Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
