it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I could have mohawked her pubes.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
