What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
