nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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