If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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