so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
