make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
