Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
