the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
