Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
