What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
