Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
