I'm so fucking centered right now
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
