I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
