Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize