In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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