so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
