He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hippo gnu deer
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
