My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
