I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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