Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
