Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
