i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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