is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
