Duck Duck Cougar?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
