dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Alive.
So much puke
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
