I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
