The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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