Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
