I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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