***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
