I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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