I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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