Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
