im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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