The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize