Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
