dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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