so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
