D3 body, D1 cock
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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