I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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