Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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