he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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