Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
