Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Hippo gnu deer
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
