yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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