I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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