im drinking this country out of the recession.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
