mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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