that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this boner is exhausting
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize