I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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