i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
