forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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