One girl and one boy is just not enough.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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