shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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